I realized I had never told Matthew’s birth story on here before. When I am out with both my boys I am often asked if Matthew is my stepson. I do look young for my age but I find it awful and a little insulting for random people to ask me questions like that. Matthew is almost 11 years old. I had him when I was 17. Just barely 17 actually. My birthday is March 23rd and Matthew came on April 28th. So I guess I don’t look like I could have had an 10 year old who looks like a 12-13 year old and still be within society’s norms for age of mom. Which brings up my soapbox.
I was 17. 17 years old. I was a junior in high school when I had my son. I am always seeing stories of teenage moms or hearing about them from people. They are never cast in a good light and seem to be doomed to fail. I had my son at the end of the end of April and still came back to school to do my finals. I would take a final and go outside and nurse Matthew. Then I would go back in and do another final. Luckily my mother wasnt working at the time so she was able to sit in the car with him or walk around with him while I was doing that. If she hadnt, I would have taken the carseat in and just rocked him while I worked. I was willing to do whatever it took to pass my classes. I wasnt giving up my education just because I had a baby and I am tired of people acting like girls should. I also wasnt marrying his deadbeat father just because he supplied the sperm to create Matthew. The week I told him I was pregnant he quit his job at the pizza place and dropped out of school. I dropped him so quick. I told him that I had a future and he wasn’t in it. I wish more girls would do the same and not let anyone drag them down. I finished the 11th grade adn still made the highest grade in half my classes. I was in honors classes my senior year and started college a few days later. But back to the point of this post.
It was tough being pregnant in high school but I managed. Upstairs classes sucked especially in my third trimester. Around March 10th I started having really bad back pains. I went to the doctor and it was back labor. I was dilating but I was far enough along that they wouldn’t stop it. Luckily, it was a slow thing. I started losing chunks of my mucus plug early on as well. I was dilated 3 at my 36 week visit and dilated 4 two weeks after that. By the time I went to my 39 week visit I was 4.5 and my doctor said he could stretch it to 5. He advised me that if I did not go into labor over the weekend, he would talk to me about my options at my appt on Tuesday (40wk1day).
That Saturday night I was feeling very restless so I took a walk around our apartment complex. I wasn’t tired by one time around like usual so I went twice around. I decided to take a shower and found out that I had lost another huge chunk of mucus (sorry if TMI but that’s birth). Then I decided that since I hadnt finished mating clothes for the baby I would do that. I spent hours putting clothes together on hangers as outfits. Almost everything I had for Matthew was secondhand because I came from a poor family and I was in high school. I only worked occasionally for my grandmother for money but I did have a few hundred in savings that my parents gave me for car insurance when I was 16. Since I never got a license, I used that money for Matthew.
Sunday morning (39 weeks, 6 days) my back was hurting but as far as I could tell I wasn’t having contractions. It didn’t feel like they told me to look out for. I pretty much felt like I was having bad menstrual pains. We went to my grandmothers like we still do every Sunday for dinner (country lunch at 2 pm). The pains got worse as the day progressed. I decided to take a bath at my grandmother’s house but when I went in there to get undressed something slimy slid down my leg. It was a huge bloody chunk of my mucus plug. I called my doctor and they advised me to come in to the hospital.
However, I had been told by everyone that first time births take forever. I did not want to sit in the hospital and be hungry all day. I told my mom and dad that I was going to eat my pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, and sweet tea before we left. I finished eating and we got in the car to go. The hospital was 35-45 min away. I still hadn’t felt anything across my abdomen like I was told to look out for.
I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 pm. I walked to the Labor & Delivery floor and signed myself in while my dad parked the car. They put me in a triage room and checked my cervix. I was at 5. They said they would check on me again in 30 min. They checked me at 6ish and I was dilated 6 so they put me in a birthing room. The first nurse came in and asked if I minded a student doing my IV since it was a learning hospital. I said yes and then she popped veins on both sides. I ended up with huge bruises running up my arms from her. They put in the catheter and had another nurse come in and break my water.
At this point it was almost 7 and my nurse told everyone she was going to fill out some paperwork and then check me again. She assured us that it would take awhile and that everyone could go smoke. Everyone in my family except my father smoked at the time so they all went outside and left me with my dad. The nurse sent him out and checked me. She exclaimed really loudly, GET THE DOCTOR IN HERE. I was +4 and fully effaced. Matthew was coming right then! My poor dad was just patting my hand and kept saying that my mom would be back soon. They were paging my family to come back in.
Matthew was born at 7:03 pm after just a few minutes of pushing. My mom and the doctor made it back in right before he came. He was 8lbs, 8 oz. 21.5 inches long and super fat. So here is his birth story. I hope it wasn’t too super long. I cannot believe he just started 5th grade and will be a preteen soon.
Sweet story Kat. You are definately the type of person that a baby doesn't stand in your way of acheiving a goal, no matter your age! You are awesome!
I love hearing how our precious ones came into the world! And I'm so excited that you had a strong sense of who you were, even at 17, and who you could become! Good for you.
I used to get strange comments a well, but that was because I have 8 children, my last 3 in my 40s!! Don't take it personally – although it is AMAZING how personal people get these days!
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Yes, very sweet story. I was only 18 when my daughter was born – so as a mother of a nearly 14 year old when I am just in my early 30s, I understand. And though I wouldnt suggest to my daughters that they do things the way I did – I would not change one moment of my life.
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I love reading about such strong teen mamas. I was 19 when my first was born, though I'd been married for 18 months by that time I still didn't escape the rolling eyes and judgmental looks.
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thats a great story!! he was such a super cute baby!!
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